You’re planning your wedding, and somewhere between “should we do a sparkler exit?” and “who’s bringing the emergency bobby pins?” you run into this question:
Should we do a first look… or a first touch?
Whether you’re all about breaking traditions or want to feel every emotional beat of the day, this moment before your ceremony can be so meaningful. But what’s the difference between a first look and a first touch, and how do you know which one’s right for you?
Let’s break it down—real talk style.
What Is a First Look?
A first touch is for couples who want to connect before the ceremony without actually seeing each other.
You might hold hands around a corner, stand back-to-back, or pass love notes while your eyes stay closed. It’s a quieter way to say “I’m here, I love you, we’re doing this,” without breaking the “no peeking” tradition.
Why people love it:
- Keeps the aisle moment totally fresh
- Still gives you emotional time together
- Great for centering your energy before the ceremony
- Can include reading vows privately if public vows aren’t your thing
Potential downside:
- You don’t get to see each other, so some couples feel a little more disconnected compared to a full first look
First Look With Family
Surprise! A first look isn’t just for couples. Doing a first look with your family (like a parent, grandparent, or chosen family member) can be incredibly sweet and emotional.
It’s especially beautiful for:
- Parents who are walking you down the aisle
- Grandparents or older family members who’ve been part of your journey
- Siblings or best friends who helped you get ready
Spoiler: This often ends in happy tears—and we’re right there crying with you, cameras shaking.
First Touch with Your Partner
Some of our favorite elopement and wedding moments have included first touches. Holding hands around a cabin corner. Reading vows under a doorframe. Laughing through nerves before the ceremony without even seeing each other.
If you want to feel connected while still saving that moment for the aisle, this is your move.
Our Honest Take: Which One Should You Choose
Drumroll please…
We’re team first look with family, first touch with your partner—but above all else, team “do what feels right for YOU.”
When we got married, we said “fuck it” to all the pressure. We chose to get ready together.
We did each other’s hair and makeup. We talked. We laughed. We cried. We had Zoom calls with the people who couldn’t be there in person.
And guess what? It was perfect.
There is no pressure to follow any script. If you want a grand first look with music and glitter, do it. If you want to hold hands around a bathroom door while passing a Starbucks order, do that too.
Seriously. Do whatever makes you feel seen, grounded, joyful, and celebrated. This is your love story.
