You’re planning your wedding, and somewhere between timeline drafts, outfit decisions, and the very real question of who’s carrying the emergency bobby pins, you hit this moment.
Should we do a first look… or a first touch?
Whether you’re breaking tradition entirely or holding onto certain moments with intention, this choice can feel bigger than it looks on paper. That moment before the ceremony often becomes one of the most emotionally charged parts of the day. It’s not just about logistics. It’s about how you want to feel walking into your ceremony and how you want that moment remembered through photo and video.
At Hey Love Studio, we’ve photographed and filmed first looks and first touches in all kinds of wedding days, from elopements to full celebrations. There is no universally right answer. There is only what feels grounding, affirming, and true to you.
Let’s walk through the difference, without pressure or wedding-rule nonsense.
What Is a First Look on Your Wedding Day?
Why some couples choose to see each other before the ceremony
A first look is when you see each other before the ceremony, usually in a private or semi-private space. It’s often one of the first moments of the day where everything slows down and it’s just the two of you.
For many couples, a first look creates space to breathe. You get a moment to react honestly, connect emotionally, and settle your nerves before the rest of the day unfolds. There’s no audience. No pressure to perform. Just presence.
From a photo and video perspective, first looks allow time for unhurried moments together. Photos capture facial expressions and body language. Film captures movement, sound, laughter, shaky breaths, and the words you didn’t plan to say out loud.
Many couples love first looks because they help ease anxiety, allow for a calmer ceremony entrance, and create intentional time together that feels private and grounded.
What Is a First Touch Before the Ceremony?
Why some couples prefer connection without seeing each other
A first touch is a moment where you connect physically without seeing each other before the ceremony. You might hold hands around a corner, stand back to back, or press your palms together with your eyes closed.
This option is popular for couples who want to preserve the tradition of seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony while still needing emotional grounding beforehand.
First touches tend to feel quieter and more internal. They’re often deeply emotional, especially when paired with reading private vows or exchanging a few words. On film, these moments feel incredibly intimate. You hear voices crack. You see hands squeeze tighter. You feel the anticipation building.
First touches are especially powerful for couples who value ritual, symbolism, and emotional buildup without visual distraction.
First Look vs First Touch for Photo and Video
How each option shapes how your wedding day is documented
From a storytelling standpoint, both options are meaningful. They simply tell different stories.
A first look gives your photo and video team more time to capture relaxed, connected moments together. It often allows portraits earlier in the day, which can create more flexibility and ease later on.
A first touch keeps the visual reveal for the ceremony, which can heighten emotion in that moment. Video especially benefits from first touches because it captures sound, pacing, and emotional buildup that photos alone can’t fully convey.
Neither option is better. Each shapes the emotional rhythm of the day in its own way.
First Looks with Family or Chosen Family
Why these moments matter just as much as partner first looks
A first look doesn’t have to be with your partner. Some of the most tender moments we photograph and film are first looks with parents, grandparents, siblings, or chosen family.
These moments are often full of meaning. Seeing someone who has supported you through your life react to you on your wedding day can feel grounding and emotional in the best way.
On film, these moments often become emotional anchors. They add context, depth, and tenderness that couples treasure long after the day is over.
Our Honest Take on Choosing What’s Right
Why there is no rule you need to follow
Here’s our honest answer. There is no correct choice.
When we got married, we tossed the script entirely. We got ready together. We did each other’s hair and makeup. We talked. We laughed. We cried. We connected with people who couldn’t be there. There was no aisle reveal. No big moment. Just presence.
And it was perfect for us.
We’ve documented couples who planned cinematic first looks with music and tears. We’ve documented couples who held hands around a door while laughing through nerves. Every single one was right because it felt right to them.
Your wedding day is not a performance. It is a lived experience. The moment you choose should support how you want to feel, not what you think you’re supposed to do.
How This Choice Impacts Your Wedding Timeline
Why first looks and first touches shape the flow of the day
This decision does affect how your day flows, but neither option creates problems when planned intentionally.
A first look can allow for more flexibility earlier in the day and often reduces pressure later. A first touch keeps the reveal for the ceremony while still giving you grounding beforehand.
What matters most is that your timeline supports calm, connection, and space to be present, especially when your day is being photographed and filmed.
Frequently Asked Questions About First Look vs First Touch
For many couples, yes. First looks often reduce camera nerves because they allow you to settle in together without an audience. Both photo and video tend to feel more natural once nerves soften.
Not at all. Many couples say the ceremony feels even more emotional because they’re calmer and more present when it begins.
Absolutely. Some couples choose a first touch for grounding, followed by a visual first look later. There are no rules here.
They work beautifully, especially for intimate days where quiet connection and emotional buildup matter most.
Final Thoughts on First Look vs First Touch
This decision is not about tradition, timelines, or what looks best online.
It’s about how you want to feel walking into one of the most meaningful moments of your life.
Whether you choose a first look, a first touch, both, or neither, what matters is that the moment supports your emotional experience. When that happens, your photos feel honest and your film feels alive.
If you’re planning a wedding or elopement and want a photo and video team who will help you choose what actually fits your day, we’re here. You don’t have to decide alone.
We’re in your corner. Always.
