How to Plan a Queer Wedding That’s Authentically You

YOUR QUEER,
CAMERA-TOTING,
HYPE SQUAD!

Queer-owned. Creative-led. Two hype babes capturing love with heart. We’re Adeline and Valerie, your married duo serving up inclusive photo and video magic across Texas, Arkansas, San Francisco, and anywhere your story calls us.
We don’t just photograph weddings. We bring all the energy, empathy, and main-character vibes so you feel seen, hyped, and fully celebrated from the first hello to the last dance.

Planning a queer wedding is about more than timelines and to-do lists. It’s about rejecting traditions that don’t serve you and creating a celebration that feels like home. For many queer couples, this means rewriting the rules, prioritizing chosen family, and leaning into joy rather than pressure. Your wedding doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s — it just has to feel like yours.

Start With What Feels True

Before you even look at venues or outfits, talk together about what actually feels important.

Is it an intimate ceremony surrounded by your closest friends? A big dance party that lasts all night? A quiet elopement in the woods with only your officiant and photographer? Knowing your “why” will guide every other decision. Before you think about seating charts or playlists, sit down together and talk about what actually matters. Do you dream of a quiet elopement where you exchange vows under a tree? Do you picture a rooftop dance party with all your favorite people? Or maybe you want something simple, like courthouse vows followed by a backyard dinner with friends. Knowing your “why” will guide every other decision. When you are clear on what matters, it becomes much easier to ignore traditions that do not serve you.

Throw Out the Traditions That Don’t Fit

Queer weddings often spotlight chosen family in ways that traditional weddings don’t.

Want to walk each other down the aisle? Do it. Want your grandparents to be the flower people? They will love it. Want to skip the bouquet toss and instead pass around a mic so your friends can share stories? That is a memory you’ll keep forever. Queer weddings give us permission to design rituals that actually feel like us.

Honor Your Chosen Family

Queer weddings often spotlight chosen family in ways that traditional weddings don’t.

One of the most beautiful parts of queer weddings is the way chosen family takes center stage. Maybe it is your best friend officiating, your siblings holding the rings, or your drag mom leading the reception toast. Including the people who have truly supported you brings depth to your day that no Pinterest board can compete with.

Make It a Celebration, Not a Performance

At the heart of it all, a queer wedding is not about proving anything to anyone.

The pressure to have the “perfect” wedding can feel heavy. But perfection was never the point. Your wedding is not a performance for guests or family. It is a moment for you and your partner to say, “This love is worth celebrating.” Cry through your vows. Dance barefoot on the grass. Order pizza instead of a tiered cake if that feels right. Queer weddings are not about fitting into a mold. They are about breaking it and finding joy in the pieces.

FAQ: Queer Wedding Planning

What is a queer wedding?

A queer wedding is simply a wedding where one or both partners identify as LGBTQ+. There are no rules for what it has to look like. The focus is on celebrating love authentically rather than following traditional gendered scripts.

Do queer weddings follow traditional rituals?

Only if you want them to. Many couples keep some traditions that feel meaningful while skipping or rewriting the rest. You get to decide which rituals feel like yours.

How much does a queer wedding cost?

The cost of a queer wedding depends on your vision. Some couples spend a few hundred dollars on a courthouse wedding and dinner. Others plan full-scale celebrations with catering, photography, and venues. Focus on what feels sustainable and true to you.

Can we include chosen family instead of traditional roles?

Absolutely. Many queer couples include best friends, mentors, siblings, or drag parents as officiants, attendants, or speakers. Your wedding party should reflect the people who have truly supported you.

How do I find LGBTQ+ affirming vendors?

Look for photographers, planners, and venues that explicitly state they are LGBTQ+ friendly. Many queer-owned businesses, like Hey Love Studios, understand the importance of safety and celebration for queer couples and center that in their work.