What would your wedding day look like if you designed it around who you are instead of who the industry expects you to be? In this episode, Adeline sits down with Chrissy (they/them), a trauma-informed mental health counselor and close friend, to talk about what it actually felt like to plan a wedding as a non-binary person—from early decisions around attire to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways vendors can reinforce a binary experience.
Chrissy shares how the wedding world often still assumes “bride and groom,” even when vendors know they’re working with a queer couple. They talk about the emotional layers of stepping into your identity, how affirming moments can exist alongside grief, anger, and exhaustion—and why “it is what it is” shouldn’t be the price of getting married. You’ll also hear practical takeaways for couples (and vendors) around inclusive language, flexible timelines, and what it really means to create a safe environment…especially in photography, where comfort shows up in every image.
This Episode Is For You If…
- You are non-binary, gender expansive, or don’t fit the traditional “bride and groom” mold
- You’ve experienced the wedding industry defaulting to binary assumptions
- You want to design a wedding day that actually reflects your identity
- You’re a vendor who wants to understand what inclusive really means in practice
- You want to hear a real, unfiltered conversation about identity, grief, and joy in wedding planning
What You’ll Learn
- Why weddings still feel deeply binary (even for queer couples)
- Chrissy’s shift from ordering a wedding dress to choosing a suit—and what changed internally
- The difference between performative allyship and real inclusion from vendors
- How contracts and questionnaires can quietly reinforce gender roles
- Photography red flags: rigid timelines, poor communication, and “forced” posing
- Why safety matters in wedding photos—and how you can feel it when it’s there
- The most affirming part of Chrissy’s experience: finding a tailor who already knew how to support non-binary clients (ISW Menswear in Mesquite)
- The core reminder: build the wedding you want—not the one you feel pressured to perform
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